Judging from the feedback that other Khankis have been giving, I realise that I am not alone in wanting to get RLD announcements cleared up. Henceforth such temporary posts shall be displayed for a maximum of one week.
ADDA has got more than 200 comments so it is time to start a new post for loafing around. Banglu your account of Fat Boy Slim in ADDA was hilarious.Please keep it up, and what happened to your poetry? You should give us atleast one a week.
85 comments:
CS as far as I know, I sent out invites to all. Please send me your email id once again and I will send you an invite.
CS , good to see you back. Yes ,impending fatherhood at 40 is a daunting thought. Also, the thought of sleepless nights and red eyed days is already giving me sleepless nights. And the fact that I'll be 53 when he enters his teens ( yes, its a boy ) is making me wonder if I'll manage to cope. Thankfully Mili is younger , so thats a consolation.
But we are really excited as I'm sure all you parents were when you guys were expecting.
Osho, tonights the Sydney leg of A1.
Wonder if Ibrahim or Chandok will sit in this time for India.
Hello folks!
Now who da fuks dis anony mouse? Texy and other techies out there please tell us how to latch onto this prick and roll his road construction safety equipment up his arse!
I noticed that both PF and Bungloo gaalied the fucker from here to thy kingdom come.....also noticed that the lily-livered yellow-bellied pricks assumed that he doesn't know hindi!
Hi CS, welcome back...will have the party as soon as these Tata pricks stop sending me byebye so often. BTW, your beloved sister thinks we're (the khankis) all a bunch of assholes hanging on to our past, and so purile, blah, blah, blah....as long as I'm laughing and making all you guys (sorry, people) piss your pants laughing, I'M HAPPY!:)
Osho (pampamparaah!)I'm on to you!
You successfully fucked up the Nostalgia contd., thread and have tried several times here...first the INXS knob, then the F1 shit, now the A1!
Slob stop bitching about your age! You're sounding like an old whore!
Just think about the times when Mili will take your son down to the park....and you'll have the baby sitter!
have been checking the help pages on blogger.com
one of the suggestions is to use "word verification" to stop the spam
what this means is that each of you khankis will be required to type the word that appears below the username and password boxes into a "word verification" box
this will prevent automated systems from adding comments to the blog, since it takes a human being to read the word and pass this step.
the other option is for dome to enable comment moderation which will then require dome to accept or reject any comment(s) that are posted to the blog - somehow, i do not believe dome will like this idea as he will receive an email for every comment that is posted
let me know your views on this
Yes ,DB, I am sounding like an old whore. Better that than sounding like a lucha pig. Was that what you were doing when Mary took the kids to the park...feeling up your ayah !
Also , BTW, this happens to be a place for ADDA maroing and as you know , when your maroing adda one can talk about anything under the sun - F1, A1, Rockstar, pornstars,
makribaji, khankism or any other shit.
So quit sounding like a bur and contribute something that will , yes, make us laugh till we are peeing in our pants.
Haven't had that for a long time.
Anonymous also goes by the name of Penny . Do you think Penny has been appointed by Google to send us bloggers results oftheir surveys.
Penny , hopefully has not forgotten her hindi and will soon be , hopefully , filling this thread with juicy hindi invective , enough to send Banglu and PF, those lily livered pricks , diving into their holes with their tails between their legs.
HA! HA! HA! this mouse is definitely not the same mouse!
But this mouse is stupid mouse!
Now listen here maha gaandu mouse, by being anonymouse you have fucked up in two ways -
1. You have turned out to be even more lily livered and yellow bellied than PF and Bungloo which is unbelievable, despicable and BLAAARGH(just vomiting at the thought of it.
2. You might be mistaken for Penny though you don't sound anything like her.....now she just wants to live a good life (though how that's possible with Goltalab is still a mystery), retire in Goa and go up to heaven.
Now since you know Hindi so well.... tera ma ka bur mein haathi ka pura herd ka laurah.... reveal your identity you bhousri!
My guess is that it's Bungloo the Khunt!
Banglu, your poetry is out of this world. In my opinion you are right up there with RL Stevenson, Keats and Shelley and all the other chutes we had to study at Xaviers.
The only person who can rival you with poetic talent is Osho ( pbuh), but he needs some inspiration of the female kind, and so far has only written ODES. For sheer humour and rhythm you are the best. I can't wait to see the next installment.
Texy, I checked up on Blogger about this anon. chod, and another way of avoiding all this spam is to set the blog to accept comments only from members. This means EVERYONE has to accept invites from me. I will need the correct email id's for this.
PF, tried looking up Pickering on Google Earth, all I can see is one long highway and some woods. Can't see many houses even at about 300 ft altitude. You are very lucky to stay in such a place, close to a large city and yet near the countryside.
Banglu, thats fuckin superb , bro.
Way to go , man.
Waiting for the 2nd installment.
PF glad to know that your posting problem has been solved.
Osho - Since you have been asking, have you received the invite that I sent in July ( which you may not have noticed) and again this week? Please confirm.
Fellow khankis, Have you read what Aruna thinks of this blog? We must think of a suitable answer.
Hello fellows!
Bungloo! Too much! Whadda fuck you're smoking man! I mean you are smokin'!
CS - I have all channels but no need to watch - I drive in central Calcutta! Don't need any more motor excitement.
PF - why did you move to Canada?
In Cal we have plenty of ravines and rivers too! This morning I nearly drove into a ravine that wasn't there last night. Also, you have to be careful not to run over the source of the river...his name could be Abdul, Muqsood, Ali etc., he'll have a tin of water in his hand and the end of his lungi inbetween his teeth.
The KOlkata Municipal corporation has done some really picturesque landscaping as well....there're some lovely hills near Dhapa...the Jampad range, the Daab mountains and the Polybags are some of the more recognizable ones. Visitors may receive free mementos - the most popular ones are keepsakes like shitonshoe and turdonyatyres.
Calcutta is really progressing - pickpocketing has been iradicated by the eduction drive. Now they only swipe credit cards and mobile phones.
have to go now but will get back on the the new transportation system
osho, did u receive my reply to your email?
it's POETS day so hope you all have a good weekend - cheers
Osho, When did you ask me for a gmail invite? Just send me a message on my gmail id and I will immediately invite you.
Goltalab, thanks for clarifying the Pickering bit. PF will be replying soon.
Banglu, I hope you're happy now.
We've got these two Canadian chutes having a heated debate about whether its better to stay close to nuclear radiation , ravines and gorges OR Cal/Mumbai eshtyle in Mississauga or whatever sausage its called.
As you may have observed ,fellow Khankis , PF is being immediately defensive and aggressively so, I would think Goltalab's prediction is right - because of the radiation , PF now has two dicks , and one he combs.
BTW, I have a confession to make :
I was the gally-mouthing anonymous.
Apologies to Penny - of course you dont sound like that, or else Goltalab would have left you a long time ago , his nuts in his hand and tail between his legs.
It was quite a laugh though , you guys wondering who it was and blamimg each other.
Yeah! an all Canadian JhooJhaa!
Way to go Goltalab and Dickhead (sorry PF)!
Goltalab stop bickering about Pickering. PF is missing his sausage .... effect of radiation?
BTW, to the best of my knowledge the Concorde has been grounded and retired for some years now. Right?
Slob and Bungloo congrats on the not so subtle bit of shit stirring.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL SPOUSES AND ANONY MOUSES:
WATCH THIS SPACE FOR AN EXTRAORDINARY INTRODUCTION TO THE INFAMOUS FR. PAT
Fellow , khankis, chodus, rampalbuxawallas and the odd she-khanki , if there can be one ---
Nostalgia Contd. has been updated with the latest from the -
SAGA OF DAVID AND GOLIATH.
Tickets are available at khankis.blogspot.com so get you'lls asses there pronto !
Hello rundees!
I've not been to Nostalgia yet but I gather that I'm on the receiving end of Slobbo's fertile imagination.
About this book - forget Mother Theresa .. if it makes bucks they go into the reunion fund ok?
but there's little chance of that happening since readers will not find it half as funny since they don't not knows the protagonists and the antagonists and the Antunis'.
Well I'm off to Nost., hope it's a laugh.
Will be back shortly with Intro to PAt.
P.S. Grandmaster of de blog! Suggest you start a thinggy called PAT YARNS and dump all PAt related stuff there.
Slobbo you BAstid!!
Your imagination is as vivid as ever.
The whole office wants to know why I'm guffawing..excuse me while I wipe my specs! ha! ha!ha!
OK I'd like to add one small "fact?".....the air hostess you didn't mentionshe was Dome's ex-babe.........................
ROSE KISPOTTA!!!
It’s a beautiful day
So hip hip hooray,
I’m getting that rhythmee feeling.
Read Bungloo’s story
Of Pat the whore-ie,
Had me laughing and reeling.
But it’s not fair to the spouses, and anony mouses
who don’t know this wolf in sheep’s clothing.
So I’ll try to describe,
Like a good Khanki scribe,
the recipient of our most vicious loathing.
Pat is a priest
though he could be “The Beast”,
he sickens us to the belly.
With squint eyes like Marty,
all awry and darty,
and a hairdo just like Telly.
His brow rushes over,
Towards his arse, as it searches for his wily brain.
Khankis know better-his brain- it’s a farce,
He’s proved it again and again.
His head, it shines, like a silver spoon,
Freshly scrubbed with steel wool and ash.
It glints in the sunlight, shines like the moon,
As smooth as a helmet from M*A*S*H
His eyes small and beady
Like he’s been toking weedy, roll ’round as he slinks down the halls.
If you look at them closely,
You see that they mostly,
Resemble mad dogs balls.
His voice, it cracks,
Like an old retired whore,
He squeaks like a litter of pups.
Hostel blokes listen
With an ear to the floor,
For those worn-out, blue Bata chups.
Sometime he’s black and sometimes brown,
Depending on the light of day.
Purple with rage with red mottled crown,
But mostly stale, dog-shit grey.
You may wonder – we hate him for what?
Why we talk like that?
He’s a sly, slimy, VD ridden twat! This bugger is a rat!
O honourable spouses and anony mouses,
(or should that be spice and mice?)
Whether in office or in your houses,
Grab your coffee or scotch ‘n’ ice.
Shut off your TV,
Cut off the cable,
Bring your dinner to the computer table
Watch for The Chronicles of that Lump o' Shit,
Told by Bungloo and DB
IT’S ALREADY A HIT!!
** already have an enquiry from a Publishing house called "IT DOESN'T GET ANY VERSE"
What the fuck are these Canadians on about?!!!
CS - What are you on? Has Bungloo been sending you some "herbal" tea or something? First you mention the Girls dorm episode (by the way you left out Foghorn and Sabrina Temple)...are you ready to open that can of worms? and then you engage PF in an irrelevant discussion about sweet fuck all...what are you trying to do?!!
PF - About your marketing plan....your only prospective clients are all Khankis so forget about selling. Now follow this carefully....remove the Concorde or the Hathi ka Laura or both and shove your plans there instead.
Banglu, tres bien, tres bien !
Penny just sent me a mail, since she can't post comments on khankis. I've changed the settings to allow non members to post comments. That word verifier shud stop the spam.
She has asked us to give her a blogname. I am sending her an invite so rush in your suggestions soon. Here are her comments she sent me:
Hi Walter,
I cannot post as anonymous anymore??? here are my comments for posting & let me know what magic I have to perform to start posting....
This is the one true 'anonymous' Penny back in circulation. I do not know who that impersonator is and his hindi grammer is terrible. I could post a whole lot of 'elegant' hindi gaalis, but then all you BCs would not understand them! I have finally found my freedom on wheels and passed my driving test (1st shot, no less) a couple of months ago and now if Goltalab harrasses me, I hop into my car and go spend his money. Banglu, keep up the good work on the poetry and maybe PF can get one of his printer contacts to print a limited edition of your creations and then have it nominated for the Booker prize.
Slob/Millie, here's wishing you all the best with parenthood. Our last one, thankfully, is now 3 yrs and gets her siblings to play around with her, leaving Goltalab & myself to nurse our aches & pains.
DB, we really need to get you over to Canada and stir these North Americans to life - I'm telling you, the sheer predictability of life her really gets me down...booring...None of that adventure we have back home with a single rickshaw ride. People too polite or scared to say what they really think, everybody trying to blend in with the next (nobody even wears bright colours in winter - grey, black, brown)....OK, better sign off before I talk myself into a depression (winter's round the corner and always gets me down)...Penny (pls, pls give me a blogname, I'm losing my identity
Hello Penny!
Nice to see you back again...how'd you like a blog name like Huddi Guddi Balichow? or Bones Alone?
Congrats on that driving test ... now go out there and show them you're from Cal-the land of flying rickshaw.
PF - about that ol' has been PAul Anka - just got an album called rock swings where he does It's my life, Jump, It's a sin etc., he's covered Nirvana, Oasis, Van HAlen, Bon JOvi, Michael Jackson etc....ofcourse he does sound like the Minstrels doing Final Countdown but at least he's still hanging in there.
Anyway, at least we know that there are some other people besides GT in the sausage....does anyone else live in the pecker?
Hey nobody's mentioned that HolyJoe was not blogging since he was busy delivering babies. Congrats Joe & Sandra!
Slob I've got another copy of Elvis Live in MAdison square garden you want it or what?
Is Dec '06 on or what? Please send in your RSVP. Then we must organize the show....What say we spen a week end at Dhyan Ashram?
hi penny, how about "boney m" for your blog name
hope all is well with you, gt and the kids
I think Boney M is a great name!
Golie - that 69 cross ref was nasty... had me racking my brains for a moment there!
Banglu / DB - awesome stuff , the rhymes on Baldy. We can collectively call it - The Ballad of Cadbury Head.
Penny - hi and welcome to khankiworld . I'm sure with GT's nuts on the xmas tree, PF's dickhead suffering from nuclear radiation and CS's knickers in a twist about PFs proposed self aggrandisement plan , your's will be the only Canadian voice of reason.
BTW , I propose we call you JHUL KA BAS, owing to your lanky , tall structure.
So far we have :
Boney M
Huddi Ka Guddi
Lorena Bobitt
Jhul ka Bas
So its your're choice...... wait a minute.....its not really your choice - so guys, what name do we select for her ?
Goltalab , holyjoe has got a girl . Her name is Annanaika Marie.
DB , you mentioned the has-been Paul Anka and his new album. I've heard one or two tracks from it and he's sounding super.He also appeared on the Dave Letterman Show and did the Oasis number. Good ole swing !
BTW , recently picked up three albums :
Ray Charles singing duets with Norah Jones , Willie Nelson, Elton John , Diana Krall , James Taylor etc. This is a motherfucker of an album. Pure genius stuff. I especially liked the duet with Natalie Cole doing Fever.
Joss Stone - Mind Body and Soul. This girl is British with a black voice. Smooth soul grooves and heavy back beats , with a touch of gospel and R&B thrown in the mix.
The Neville Brothers - Walkin in The Shadow of Life. Another great album from the Brothers. True funk with a folksy feel.
Any of you guys listening to anything new lately , why dont you give us a take.
Oh yes here's my view on THE BOOK.
I think its a crap idea for these reasons :
1. The audience for the book - namely us khankis - has already read it.
2. Some of the stuff is downright fuckin embarrassing and I'm sure the khankis on the receiving end wouldn't want it out in the big bad gossipy world.
3. Releasing a book entails publishing , design , editing , marketing and last but not the least , MONEY. With the protaganists of the book spread around the world , it would be a herculean task co-ordinating the nittygrittys that would invariably rise to bite our arses once we took that step.
4. If we were lets say donating the proceeds to a charity , dont you think the Charity would at least want to read the book first. Imagine their aghast while reading about our opinion of a jesuit priest, torrid tales of dick hopping teenagers and the very name - khanki !
Do you think they'd want to associate with this project anymore.
No my fellow bokachodas, lets not get ahead of ourselves. Let us not fuck up a good thing by making it complicated. This blog is not going anywhere and if somebody is interested they can log in.
Now that Dome has opened tis blog to guest bloggers , if you want your friends or family to have a dekho and comment , feel free.
Thats all I have to say.
Over to you guys.
EL Slobbo,
Thanks for your views about the book - we don't give a fuck but we were playing along so that PF would feel he has some goal in life. You see his arse is stuck in a Nuclear fallout or something and we wanted to cheer him up during the last days.
Thanks also for inviting families and friends....all you lazy bastids you can relax I'll send out all the invitations - the list is below-if you want to make any changes please rush your request asap.
Bungloos guest - Aunty Mary
CS's guest - Fr. Leslie & the nun aunt
Goltalab's guests - Aunty Philoo and his brothers-in-law (esp. Ashley)
Slobbo's guests - all the D'Lazarus sisters and Mahua Sarkar.
Osho's (pampamparah) guests - his mother in law, mum and Uncle Neil O'Brien.
All khankis who are absconding will will get one last warning to show up or get fucked!
Back to Slobbo!
You still didn't say anything about the Elvis album - you want or not?
The Anka Album is great so is Joss Stone, btw, she has 2 out now. Worth checking out is a band called Los Lonely Boys.....don't get swayed by the name this is one kick ass Santana type band. Also check out this babe KT Tunstall - HOT! Santana has a new album released just yesterday....Bonnie Raitt also has a new album. On the Jazz front you want to check out Joey deFrancesco (Organ), Eric Nemeyer (vibes) or Carli Munoz (piano).
Hey this just my job - how'd like to change places huh?
I have a bootleg of Ray Charles jamming with some unknown blokes - mind blowing.
What about the 2006 reunion?
Boney M and Jhul Ka Bas are bindaas.
I personally prefer JKB.
BTW, today is Barry Antunis' birthday.
Hello pee ple!
GT get your own KFC & head. PF owns a packing and moving company (probably).
CS you can have Live in MSG (not ajino moto)as soon as I can get it to you.....maybe 2006 reunion. Slobbo is showing no interest because I've already given him a copy- forgot to mention this is an original!
BCs it's about time to send in your votes for Penny's blog name.
So far we have, Bones Alone, Boney M, Jhool Ka Bas & Long Tall Sally.
Please add any others that I have missed
I think each Khanki should allocate 3, 2 and 1 point for the their favourite 3 names
Dome, I think you should do this via an email invite so we do not get influenced by someone else's votes
What say guys?
Take care on this yet another POETS day
DB, make no mistake , I have noted your offer of Elvis in MSG . H'ever since you've already given me a copy with the trouble of including your artful cover , it would be a shame to discard that for the original. So , go ahead and give that to CS .
Also , fellow khankis , you will notice GT and PF are still going on about their "my dick is bigger than yours" argument about where they reside. Now PF is trying to ingratiate himself with GT , so he's thrown him "a bone" of thinking of moving over to M'sausage. GT on the other hand doesn't want PF anywhere close to him so he's put forward the impossible condition of "KFC" , knowing fully well that all that is available in the ravines and gorges are probably radiated fossils of extinct wild fowl and the odd coyote.
Penny, will you please change you're blog name once and for all so we can get this discussion out of the way.
There are more interesting things to discuss now , seeing that PF is planning to move to M'sausage. Luck for CS , she has already fucked off far into the country and is safe from the beady eyes of PF , but my dear, you and GT had better start thinking seriously, or else he will pitch his tent close by and bore you daily about some self-aggrandising ( is that a word?) plan / project of his. He 'll also rope in his wife and she , poor thing out of love for his sorry ass and the future of their "little man" will concur to help.
Dont say I didn't warn you.
OK I think Trombone is a good name for Penny - it has plenty of innuendo and connotations to khankis but is innocent enough in itself.
GT's got the Concorde, PF's got the ravine ...it's pretty much obvious who's gonna be boning who.
Slobbo, you're giving up the original for sentimental value ... very much appreciated, but you can have an original too....I sell the friggin things!
Hey , have you guys seen the photos Holyjoe has sent of his baby girl. Anaika Marie ( Banglu, you will note I've got it right this time ) looks cute. Joe and Sandra haven't changed a bit and young Jude is looking like a spitting image of Joe's younger brother , Andrew.
ok ok , ANNaika.
Now go suck on a carrot !
Haven't seen Lundy , Mangosins and Osho around here for some time now.
Osho is keeping away because DB pissed him off with his cribbing.
Lundy is in hiding probably 'cause he's scared PF may force him to use his sister's pest control co.
Now what could be Mangoskins' reason , I wonder. None of you guys have said anything to piss him off , have you ?
A tale from an AICUF camp,
I don't remember which
The hero - Pedro Dias,
The villain - Pat the bitch
In the mid morning session,
Baldie felt uneasy
His tummy was a rumbling,
The tea had made him queasy.
He casually strolled out,
The wide open door
Grabbed his soap 'n' towel,
For a shit he did go
All would be well,
If it hadn't been for Chris
Who then and there decided,
He had to have a piss
He unzipped his fly,
As he yanked at the door
His bladder was bursting,
For leak he must go
But for our poor Pedro
A shock was in store
A hairy black hand reached out
And quickly shut the door
Pedro was bewildered
He shouted like a dunce
"whoda fucks in dare?
Come out at once"
"It's me Father Pat"
Came a scared little voice
"I'll be out in a minute
Now get away you boys."
The audience would have gone away
Just to cut him a little slack
But Pedro was yanking open the door
And Baldie was yanking back
Pat he pleaded with young Chris
To let him finish his shit
But the crazy fuckin' Pedro
Would not hear of it
There was determination in his eye
As he ignored poor Pat's whinges,
With mighty heave and a sigh
He ripped off door and hinges
He stood there breathing heavily
He had used all his dum
And opposite stood poor ol' Pat
With half a shit still up his bum
A brief encounter
in 6 scenes.
Location : Midnapore Aicuf Camp
Scene 1 – Outside the session hall
Corny : Hey Paul, Marie has given me the green signal to go over to the girls dorm tonight .
DB : So ?
Corny : I , ah , um , well , what say you come along with me.
DB: Why ?
Corny : The girls dorm is across the basketball court and its quite dark.
DB : So ?
Corny : Don’t be a prick with all these questions , just be a pal and come along, will ya.
DB : But what am I gonna do while you’re smooching Marie ?
Corny : You can be with Shalini. Marie has already told her you’re coming to see her tonight.
DB : Oh, Ok, if Shalini wants to see me then I suppose I'll have to go along with you.
Corny : Great, thanx. We’ll sneak out after lights out, tonight. Bring your torch.
DB: I don’t have one .
Corny : Oh shit, I don’t either. Fuck , do you know anyone who has one and will lend it to us ?
DB : Nope.... Wait , I think Jason has one , I saw him last night running across the court .
Corny : Good , I’ll ask him.
DB : Ha, if you think Jason’ll give you his torch , you got another think coming !
Corny : That fucker better give it or else I’ll have his ass for breakfast.
DB : Ok you ask him then, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
Corny : Leave it to me.
Scene 2 – Outside the dining hall
Corny : Jason, that was some good singing last night . “Me and Bobby Macgee” , great song , man.
Foghorn : Thanks , Corny. You wanna join us tonight for a sing song, or what ?
Corny : No, actually , ah , I’ve got to go and check on something with Fr. Pat.
Foghorn : Oh .
Corny : Say, bro, do you by any chance have a torch.
Foghorn : Yeah , I do – why ?
Corny : Well , after my work with Pat , hehe , I’m sneaking off to see Marie Michelle and the court is really dark .
Foghorn : Haha, what a fucking durpoke. The girls dorm is just across , man.
Corny : Yeah , I know , but you know, this place is filled with snakes and shit.
Foghorn : Rot ! I went over last night , nothing happened to me .
Corny : Oh , you did , did you ?
Foghorn : Yeah , easy man , just run across the court , get behind the dorm and throw some pebbles at the first floor window.
Corny : Ok , thanx. Now about that torch, can you lend it to me for the night.
Foghorn : Can’t , I’m using it tonight.
Corny : For what ? I thought you said it was easy.
Foghorn : It is , but I need to shine the torch on my face so Sabrina knows its me and not some chute from the fucking village.
Corny : Ah , yes ,. So that means you’ll be going over tonight , eh ?
Foghorn : Of course, once I put every one to sleep with my singing , I’ll slink off .
Corny : Say, bro, can Paul and myself come along with you. Then all three of us can use your torch .
Foghorn : I don’t know , it might be risky , three of us buggering off from the camp fire together.
Corny : No no, we’ll go separately . I’ll go first with your torch ,then Paul and then you come last because you’ll have to hand over the guitar to Errol. Let him sing his Elvis songs and bore the shits out of everyone.
Foghorn: Ok then , see you tonight .
Scene 3 – At the campfire
The fire is slowly dying down to a red glow . The mosquitoes are having a feast on various forms lying huddled around. The soft strumming of an out-of-tune guitar is heard , with the last verse of Sandman being sung by bored voices. The smoke from the campfire has developed a strange charasi odour as various mouths slyly blow out smoke from their hairclipped joints. A figure rises and skimpers off into the darkness. After a while , the guitar is handed over, a C chord is struck and the first line of "Welcome to my World" is heard from a voice trying desperately to mimic Elvis Presley. Nobody’s too impressed and soon they carry on staring blankly at the dying embers. Soon another form rises and slinks off into the darkness.
Scene 4 – Outside the girls dorm
DB : Stop shining the torch , you chute, you’ll draw attention to ourselves.
Corny : Sorry , just wanted to let you guys know where I was.
DB: Have you alerted Marie yet ?
Corny : No , I was waiting for you guys.
DB : What the fuck for . This is not a gang bang .
Sound of pebble hitting the window. After a while , sound of window opening .
Voice : Is that you , sweetie .
Corny : Its me , Corny.
Voice : Who ?
Corny : Honey its me , Corny .
Voice : Hold on .
Sound of whispering at the window.
Voice : Sweetie will you shine your torch on your face so I know its you.
Paul : Corny , I don’t think that’s Marie, it sounds like Sabrina.
Paul : Sabrina , its Paul. Jason is not here yet. Is Shalini there ?
Sabrina : Oh , Paul, where is Jason . Has he not come with you ?
Corny : Sabrina , will you call Marie.
Sabrina : Where is Jason? Why hasn’t he come with you guys ?.
Paul : I think he’s still singing Sandman.
Sabrina : I told him not to sing , he has a habit of carrying on and on and forgetting about me.
Corny : Wait … here he is now.
Foghorn: Sweetie , I’m here . Open the door and we’ll come up.
Sabrina : No , wait there we’ll come down.
Corny : Jason , I think its better if we go up , cant
take a chance down here with all these snakes lurking around.
Foghorn : Sabs , sweetie , I think it’ll be better if we come up , there may be snakes down here.
Sound of a shriek
Sabrina : A snake !! Sweetie did it bite you ? Jason , are you all right , oh baby …
Foghorn : Sabs , don’t worry , there’s no snake , but …
Sabrina : Hold on , baby , I’m coming down to open the door .
Corny : Hey Sabrina , can u tell Marie that I’m here , too ?
Sabrina : Who ?
Corny : I’m Corny
Sabrina : What ! How dare you talk to me that way , telling me you’re horny !
Corny : No , no, this is Corny
Jason : Sabs , sweetie its Corny , he’s also here to see Marie and Paul is here too to meet Shalini.
Sabrina : Oh , ok , I’ll tell them. But sweetie, you be careful now of those snakes, ok , I’m coming down now.
Sound of window closing.
Scene 5
Three shadowy figures are huddled under the awning of the front door of the girls dorm. A match flares and a bespectacled face is lit up , dragging on a fag. The match goes out and darkness looms. The door opens and the pale light form inside suddenly silhouettes the three figures. A shortish figure slips out closing the door behind it and darkness envelopes the area once again .
Foghorn : Hi sweetie, I’m here.
Sabrina : Where ? I cant see you. Can u smile a bit or shine the torch on your face.
Foghorn : Here , baby ( touching her arm )
Corny : Sabrina , where are Marie and Shalini
Sabrina : They’re coming , you know these girls , they have to put on make up just to come down in the dark .
To Foghorn : Sweetie , you havn’t been bitten by any snake have you. I think you should come inside.
Corny : You guys think we should leave the torch on the floor with it on in case there are snakes around.
DB : Don’t be a chute. The smoke from my fag will send them off.
Jason and Sabrina slither into a corner and there’s the sound of heavy breathing interspersed with ruffling sounds.
Corny ( whispering ) : Paul , that fucker’s making such a racket , he’ll wake up the snakes.
DB : Haha. I wonder whats keeping Shalini and Marie ?
Corny : Fuck it . I cant wait any longer. What say we go up. In any case, I cant stand here and listen to these two eating each other up.
The door opens and Corny slips in followed by DB. Suddenly there’s a loud bang and a shriek. Loud female voices are heard and various doors being banged shut.
Suddenly the door opens once again and Corny and DB run out and disappear into the darkness. Jason lets go of Sabrina and follows , cursing and grumbling under his breath.
Scene 6 – Next morning in Pats Room . Present are Shalini , Marie and Sabrina.
Baldy : You girls are spoiling the name of the AICUF. I cant believe you would let boys in to the girls dorm. This is the first time I’m coming across something like this in my entire life…
Marie ( interrupting ) : But father , we never let them in , somebody opened the door for them …
Baldy : I don’t care who let them in , the fact is they were in the girls dorm and no boys are allowed in the girls dorm after dark.
Shalini : But father , we were not doing anything bad, in fact we did not even have a chance to meet them…
Baldy : And you ! Aren’t you Ryan daughter ?. I know him and he would not approve of this type of behaviour. And how come you are friendly with that , that …that heathen….how come …I cant believe you would….Father forgive me , I may have sinned ….God bless us all …do your parents know that you’re with that …that devil incarnate ….oh my, what is my life come to…
Marie : Father , are you all right , should I get you some water ?
Baldy : And you , with Corny . He’s supposed to be the camp leader . What kind of example is he setting.
Marie : My parents approve of him , Father , so I don’t see a problem.
Baldy : Thank God for that , but this Shalini , my girl , you have shocked me with your behaviour. Please listen to me , do not get mixed up with that.. that …Satan and all his friends. Those boys would never have been allowed in this camp . It was only because that Phillips boy implored and begged me , almost went down on his kness – God bless him – to let me and Walsh have them here ….he promised he and his friends would behave themselves …but this ….this is too much …I think I’ll retire from this job….its getting too much for me …..
Sabrina ( shrieking ) : Father , a sssnnake ….
Baldy : What ! where ? ….oh that , no that’s my ...never mind ( folding over his cassock ).
Baldy : Never mind now , please leave and do not let me hear about any boys getting into the girls dorm in the future , ok ?
Sabrina , Marie and Shalini : Yes Father .
Benedict XVI tightens ban on homosexual priests
So the pope has put a ban on homos being inducted into the priesthood. Much as I opine this pope is too conservative for the good of Christendom , I have to agree with this one.
But no, there are some factions that are objecting in "Catholics disagree over new Vatican decree" and "Confusion over gay priests document" .
I mean , how confusing is it and why are they disagreeing. !!!???
Its quite simple really :
Who needs a person who shoves his dick up someone’s arse or even worse has a dick shoved up his arse to preach to the lay ( pun not intended ) people.
The anatomy of a human/animal being has been clearly structured and its functionality suitably defined. A penis was made in such a way that it could enter a vagina and plant a seed for the propagation of the species. In order for this procreative activity to continue unabated an incentive was added on – the orgasm.
However , over the millennium , the orgasm became the prime motive and even though billions were being born – the incentive was being put to good use – a million times that number of seed was being wasted down many a drain , bedsheet , hand , condom or mouth.
And in the recent past, hidden from the gossipy eyes of society , many a seed was being wasted up many an arsehole.
In the new millennium , with the vicissitudes of societal structures , the changes in cultural values and the sexual revolution of the ‘60s , there dawned the nascent era of open homosexuality and civil unions giving rights to people who thought it was not a problem to use any orifice in the body as a receptacle for ones dick . This even extended to representatives of religious organisations – one such – THE CATHO0LIC CHURCH.
When priests were caught with their cassocks up and their hands down little boys trousers , all hell broke loose and the people cried for crucifixion. The very foundation of the Church was threatened and something had to be done. Pope John Paul II started a template of control but died soon after and it was left to his successor to put the screws ( pun intended ) on the screwers.
Priests , as it were , were meant to be holy people and even if some of them married and begot offspring , what cannot be condoned is the seeking after carnal orgasmic experiences for the sheer pleasure of it and - God forbid - in an aberrant fashion - up the arse !
So I say , hear hear Benedict .
YEAH! Benny buggers the bum boys! Wonder what Robson will have to say about this....btw Slob he was your class teacher once, wasn't he? I was wondering why you were taking this matter to arse ...sorry heart.
My dear CS, I'm now quite sure that you're stoned or something!
You seem to be thoroughly enjoying the dorm story. Why this sudden suicidal tendancy? Have you not realized that the snake in the story is el Slobbo himself?
STOP PRESS! I just got information that Mangoskins will be in Calcutta in December 2006.
At least we will have one phoren khanki at the reunion.
CS - You know nothing! Bungloo might have been in a suicidal mood from time to time on account of smoking goat shit instead of hashish but the Fernandes twins??!!! Has the rarified Canadian air got you or what? Those little pricks were scared shitless of their own shadows. The gaandu who led the charge of the (flash)light brigade was none other than "fancy dressed ball" Bobby Peters - currently in Perth (caught up with him last year- he's still the same mad fucker!)
Ok the reunion - Date : sometime in Dec 2006
Venue : Lotus cinema/ S. N. Bannerjee Rd mor (I've deferred the promotion party so that we'd have a sponsor for the reunion)
Drinks : All phoren khankis will donate duty free booze (please coordinate so we don't land up with 100 bottles of Remy MArtin - also don't stick to regulation amount, customs will be fixed if you land in Cal)
Smokes: Bungloo's dept.
Food : In true khanki tradition we'll go "dutch" with Dome spitting all over his share. Please be warned that if any "pooling in " is done, Slob will have only 2 bucks in his wallet - however in another pocket he will have a voluntary blood donors card which will be full of cash.
Music : There will be two types - RECORDED(we are trying to get Lipps Inc. Funky town, Paul Anka you're having my baby album and Grease)and
LIVE (please practice OHIO and Raghupatiraja)
Should we have any finance problems we have Osho (pampamparaah!)- VP HSBC and CS (major sponsor) Director NCR (the buggers who make ATM machines!)and Bungloo who programs ATM machines - with that kind of combo we could even become Ocean's 13.
All Khankis may add your suggestions so that we all have a great time.....one small request to PF.....I know you/your sister/brother/pet dog/parakeet probably owns an event management company, but don't make this into a large elaborate event like the Olympics ok?
BTW, CS, Suzy will probably be in Cal in Dec 2006 why don't you coordinate? Her new contact is sueearl5@yahoo.co.uk - I'm very much in touch so no chance of too much stress there.
CS - look forward to meeting you in Feb/mar.
Will somebody take the Birthday post off the blog please. I have been so busy of late that I simply do not have time to log on to blogger. Its almost 1 am now, and I have just finished ironing my clothes and put Dylan to sleep.
Regarding priests, I don't see what the problem is. Why can't a homo be a priest as well, as long as he is not shoving his dick up some poor boy's arse, I think it is alright.
Right now, we feel "safe" because homos are not officially allowed in, but how does anyone know how many closet homos are there in the priesthood.
I say - allow married priests / homos provided they have the aptitude.
When we call somebody a "homo" , "gay" , "lesbian" , "faggot" etc we are describing their sexual orientation and in most cases it would indicate an aberration. Now , imagine referring to a priest by his sexual preference. That in itself is contrary to what priestly attributes should be - which is holy , pure , ascetic and assexual.
But , lets take Dome's point of view and say that - what about normal priests ( who are not gay ), they can sexually molest young girls or have sex wth a woman. The fact is molesting a minor would categorise the priest as a paedophile and if the priest was screwing a woman it should only be his wife or else he's committing adultery.
So, Dome , I dont now about you mate , but I wouldn't want my son growing up in an atmosphere where he is exposed to the risk of being molested, especially if I'm putting him in a Catholic school.
In fact , airlines all over the world have a standing rule that prevents a single male passenger from sitting beside an unaccompanied minor. You can say thats "profiling" and unjustified but then does anyone want to take that risk ?
Bangloo,
I'm afraid you'll have to forget Lundy...he disappeared right after enquiring about pest control. Remember he's the guy who got pissed on rain water or something right? can you imagine what a whiff of DDT would do to him?!
Ok now about these homo fathers...
1. It's the Catholic Church and Benny's tackling the problem without any help from us.
2. We all agree that homo priests are not happening.
3. GT wants Dome to take a stand...and that sounds very suspicious... I mean if he were a priest and asked Dome to take a stand, PF to give him head and then all that talk of him getting back to blowing....
4. PF as usual is rambling on but the gist of what he's saying is he won't mind as long as it's black (must tell dungdung)
5. CS has taken the opportunity to put in her two bits for WOMEN.
Imagine Morning Star College changing all their urinals...useless expense for the church....and then you'd have to have two sets of chasubles one with darts and one without..not practical
6.Slob is worrying about his son...unnecessarily, because he's going to inherit his father's genes and be the most HARAMI bugger in all KIWILAND!
7.Dome is quickly relieving himself of all duties and his next move will be to get the hell out of this blog since we all witnessed his profession of love for Pat! What about priests who have to protect their bums from certain members of the congregation huh?
8. JKB wants us to check out the 11th Century when it all started, but then why not go back a little further...I sure you'll find that all religion has very little to do with God...in fact I often wonder whether God made Man or was it the other way around?
9. Bungloo wants our kids to grow up in an environment like we grew up in - CHRISTINE (CHRISTOPHER)BOURNE WAS YOUR NEIGHBOUR YOU GAANDU!! and Vivek Mansukhani!!!
10. Osho(pampamparaah~~!!)will give us his verdict in about 3 weeks from now (when he's less busy) and that will be final!!
Guys , wonder why Banglu's desperate fot Lundy's phone no ?
Also agree that Lundy's probably working overtime to pay off the inflated bill PF's sister may have landed him with on advice from PF .
DB, good summary of the homo debate. And you've raised a very important point albeit inadvertantly - the question of whether God created man or vice versa.
My opinion is that in the old days , when man was quite ignorant of his surroundings, didn't have answers to a lot of questions and phenomena and therefore was wont to attribute these mysteries to a higher power or supreme being he created and named him God. In fact we still express astonishment at some phenomena even today and call it God's doing. So man has created this omniscient , all powerful entity and in times of strife and trouble , use this entity to fall back on for succour.
Countless books have been written , millions of words have been spoken about the true nature of God , but we still dont really know anything .
Which is why we have the classic debate of faith vs reason, where having a religion is based on blind faith and questions asked would only lead to furthur questions and the quest would be infinite.
"pansy patrick" - of course I remember him. In fact will never forget his sermons. After the Gospel reading he would start his sermon with a short story," once upon a time ......and the moral of the story is ...." This was a standard format.
In fact one evening while we were raising hell in the SVP room , he happened to walk past and somebody called him a "chakka" . He heard it and complained to FR. Stephen and Stephen brought it up with Geoff Paul . I forget who it was.
But , JKB , tell me , on what occasion did you experience Pansy Patrick's "limp wrists" ?!
Hey Osho, congrats - and welcome to the other hemisphere . Just remember you'll be entering winter so carry lots of woolies.
Here , our carols go like this -
" Chestnuts roasting on a sun baked beach ..."
"I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas ..."
etc
Osho(pampamparaah~~!!!),
The Cal Khankis are deeply PISSED OFF!! I will miss your sound advice on how to fuck up every bank in the world and other matters.
Abey Gaandu! I hope you haven't forgotten all the parties you owe us! Don't even dare to suggest that you'll just have one large farewell party to even the score!
BTW, will you be able to make the 2006 reunion?
COngrats Osho! THis is really wonderful.Now you wont be so busy and can bless us with your comments on a daily basis.
This debate about gay priests is now becoming a debate on God.
I think, somewhere Dan Brown and the other Dan ( Barker) will enter the debate. Has anyone read Barker's essays? In case you havent do a google search for him and read his articles.
BTW, just because I'm OK with gay priests doesn't mean priests shud be a given a free hand with the boys under his care.
If we know that some priest is Gay, we will probably be more careful and certainly willnot allow ourselves to be conned.
And yes, I am all for married priests and women as priests.A person's sex or sexual orientation shud not influence the kind of interaction one has with that person.
I think the only thing that pulls our heartstrings are family and friends. In terms of job satisfaction - the higher you rise in an organisation the more time you need to devote to your job and with mobiles and laptops at your disposal you're never really off the job. Thus family and social life suffer. In fact at my last job in India , my social life centred around partying with colleagues and clients.
Infrastructure is hardly up to scratch in any major city in India and transport sucks all over .
Having lived in Auckland for 3 years and also Calcutta and Mumbai , I would say the living standards ( transport , infrastructure, commuting , environment , roads , govt benefits etc ) are far superior here. I'm sure it would be the same for Canada and OZ , too.
One just needs to get used to the PC culture prevalent in western societies which stems more from the fact that "liability" is a big thing , unlike in India where due to the population size , one doesnt really give a shit about being PC. You can get away with anything.
BTW, Dome , can u give us your new email id.
Your current one keeps bouncing back my emails.
JKB, good snaps . Your daughter has got your height. Also , A.Marie is looking very dignified with her white crop of hair. Please give her my love and tell her I remember her coffee.
CS is right , you have filled out and are looking good and of course GT is as round as ever.
Hey I turn around for one second and all this great conversation is happening behind my back!
Where is PF? Has the radiation got him or has realization finally dawned?
What man PF? Say something about Cal or the infrastructure or the IT industry...say something so that we can all screw you over once again.
JKB - what to say?! Osho(pampamparaah~~)as usual, is right. You've been away for too long!!
I may have to move to Pune in the near future (to cut down on travel time) but I resisting because of puchkas, kati rolls and Chinese food.
Bungloo you bitch! we're supposed to meet one of these evenings....where the fuck are you? Melody was singing your praises the other night at the club so I invited her to read the blog and see what a twisted piece of shit you've become.
Osho(pampamparaah~~)that last bit about Sania Mirza was pretty dicey....Bungloo used to run over policemen's toes with his fucked up Lambretta....sounds like you've just issued a fatwa on poor Sania.
OK now all you Phoren Khankis...ever wondered why all these SMART deshis remain deshis?
Ever noticed that most of these Smart deshis are Bong?
P.S. Bungloo, I'm sure you're pissing your pants with glee at the impending KEECHANG!!
Banglu, congrats bro . I personally think its a positive change for you.
You'll love the twin city of Secunderabad. I hear the pub culture rivals that of Bangalore and the city is a sprawling "Silicon Valley" so to speak , all thanks to their "CEO" chief minister.
Also you'll be an hour & a half by flight away from Cal so if you're missing your old ganjaria friends , all you have to do is hop on a flight.
Osho, if the "Cal of yore" has vastly improved , then why are you leaving. I agree with JKB - in your situation , both you and Chris have fantastic jobs , own a house in Alipore - which is an upmarket area , have your own transport , belong to a club and have family - prey tell , what swung you in favour of moving to OZ where you'll probably have to start from scratch.
If I'm right , the answer will probably lie in "work ethic" and "babu culture" , the first being non-existant and the latter widespread.
So no matter which IT co or foreign investor lands up in Cal , we have to remember the employees of that co will preponderantly be Bong and no matter how "smart" they are , they are inherantly lazy. And I think thats largely due to the weather.
The bong ethic/work/culture that you all are talking about is fading fast. There are lots of bongs in HSBC,BA and as a matter of fact in TATA....I can vouch for the TATA blokes and I'm pretty much sure that the HSBC and BA bongs are not the stereotype BABUS you all know so well. Also, while everybody knows what chuts these bongs are, we are all conveniently forgetting to mention the great, hard-working, civic-minded, etc., etc., Maoris, Aborigines, Rednecks etc., etc.
True - these fucking Maoris out here think they still own the country because they were the first to land here. Half of them are on dole and spend their money at the local TAB ( betting joints ) or play the machines. The other half are fighting land claims against the Crown based on their version of the Treaty of Waitangi.
The Maoris down here are a force to contend with and have a strong voice in Govt unlike the abos in OZ or the Red Indians in the US who have been quelled into submission.
I have no idea about injuns and so on but don't be fooled by the Abos. They have definitely not been "quelled into submission". Those pricks are like lazy bongs and harami mozzies all rolled into one! They are always ready to pick a scrap, rip you off or just be obnoxious and the authorities can't/ won't do a shit.
osho, told u you'd walk in to oz, welcome to the land of opportunity
look out temptation, millionaire and similar prize shows, phil is gonna clean u guys up
anyway, phil n chris, u will do fine here - only problem is you're going to the wrong state
guess u both must be very excited
wish you all the best with your move to oz
take care all
PF- Nice to have you back again! Especially since you seem to be seeing things from my point of view. However, I must admit that I didn't comprehend a fuck about what you were on about.
Goltalab - Gaandu! I've personally forwarded your suggestions to Jyoti Babu and he said to assure you that the next time you visit Cal there will be at least 3 satellite towns...Salt Lake, Rajarhat and New Town...close to the airport as you suggested. He's also promised to throw in half a dozen or so fly overs, a second bridge over the Hoogli and to top it all he's gonna step down and let Buddhadev Bhattacharya be the CM.
He also requested for some more suggestions...we really need to develop this place!
Could any of you guys give us some feedback on how good metaled roads, fully computerised railway booking,tax offices etc., really are?
GT , make no mistake - we all love Calcutta very much . Its our fuckin hometown - for Gods sake. Where else will you get kati rolls , ball-scratched puchkas , sumptous Chinese food , dal puris , halwa puris, bakarkhani and ilish maach all in one city.
Winters are cold and summers are hot - just like it shud be .
Kolkata has the most modes of transport - catering to all needs and pocket.
The British have left us with a club culture thats roaring along fine.
Kolkata is the intellectual capital of India and the home of Mother Teresa. Its known as the city of Joy because its people happily live on despite the civic problems .
Owing to the low salary levels , the babu culture prevalent at that time and lack of job opportunities - some of us packed our bags and fucked off.
And no matter where we are , we will always remain Calcuttans at heart. Notice how when we go to India for a holiday after the many years living abroad , it only takes a couple of days for us to slip into the way of life we have grown up with - and relishing it. At least that was my experience when I returned to mumbai for a holiday early this year. It was like I had never left.
We love living in Auckland , because its clean and green - the work culture is good - family life is respected by companies , the govt takes care of medicals with heavy subsidies and free hospital visits and surgery, commuting is a breeze and - agreeing with PF - the systems have been well set in place . This would be the same for Canada , OZ , UK and any other western society. Of course each country has its own indegenous problems - check out the race riots in Sydney these last couple of days !
At the end of the day - what do we really want -
- a good income so we have some left over to save and or to dispose off
- qualty time with our families
- good work environment
- the basic civic needs that any tax paying person would expect - good roads , waterways , parks , well maintained beach fronts etc.
PF - WHERE THE FUCK IS GEORGE JENNINGS ?!!!
PF - WHERE THE FUCK IS GERGE JENNINGS ?????
Sorry Osho - sheep shagging better than hoppy-hopping or dingo digging.
So I think we'll stay put.
But yes , I do agree with you on the hope that all the Khankis get out of India as well.
India no good - phoren good !
STOP PRESS!
JUST GOT INFORMATION (from the ass's mouth) THAT THIS BLOG IS BEING SECRETLY READ BY MR. GEOFFREY PAUL.
The ass is Geoffrey Paul.
The GAB DANCE has not changed in ages...Rangers, Das, the hassle over the dress code, late comers trying to crash the party and a lot of Jhoo jhaa at the bar under the mismanagement of Badal.
The Minstrels (aka Benny and the Banchods) have finally decided to chuck in the towel (and Edgar's squeaky sax) so this year it's "Barefoot" with Edgar's son on keyboards and Pat Cazo's son on bass so there's some hope for the Mexican shuffle, Birdie dance(Birdie plays guitar with the band),etc., etc. However we will miss Final countdown (played as a foxtrot) and Sultans of swing (played in swing). The other band is Colours with Chicky Broughton on keyboards!
Half way through the night and three quarters through my bottle everyone will be bitching about the bands so I'll try to "solve" the problem by usurping the stage and singing any shit that comes to my alcohol soaked brain...it works everytime....the Christmas spirit is restored and soon other great musigaos like Grenville Daunt, Carlton Pereira and Little Richie Pereira will mount the stage for a huge, no holds barred jam. Finally we are all unceremoniously hobbed off the stage by Patsy Fernandes, the MC and a few other committee members in an effort to restore law and order.
In the meanwhile, the bands, who have had too long a break are pissed to the gills and are not too keen to get back on stage.
The show will be saved by Derek Fernandes and Hector D'Al (the only Konkani singing goan I know)who will launch into a series of Mandos.....for some unfathomable reason everyone will whip out sweat/snot soaked hankies and wave them round their heads while running around in circles(this is some old goan tribal war dance I think).
By early morning, pissfarting drunk, exhausted and trying to retain the Christmas spirit(pup intended) we will stumble over to China town for fish ball soup, momos, pork roast etc. After a good dimsum which everybody stands everybody else we will go home throw off our suits (which are quite fucked up by now) and crawl into bed.
When we wake up around lunch time we will have a massive hangovers, our bodies will be sore and as we gobble down left over sorpotel we will swear never to go for another GAB Dance ..............................till next year!
Hey anyvbody gonna be online tonight? My id is pauldg@rediffmail.com I'll be on MSN Messenger.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL KHANKIS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
First of all - wish all u khankis a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year for 2006.
Osho and Chris - you guys will be starting the year in a new country so here's wishing you guys the very best and hpe you settle soon.
Dome - guess your new job has really got you working now cause we haven't seen hide not hair of you for a long time. Hope the new yr brings you some relief ad allows you some time to visit your ole pals.
For us - the year has ended on a good note and we hope 2006 will be a year of learning and experience as we grow our little bub.
DB - you forgot the most important occurance of all -
Towards the wee of the morning as the lights are dimmed and with the by-now untuned guitars sounds and floppy beats of "Have I told you lately" floating around the hall, couples will be tightly wound around each other - some guys so pissed they'd actually be holding on in case they crumpled to the floor - and ........
COCO would make a grand entrance - having crashed about 10 parties through the night , the GAB dance as the last on his itenarary - stride up to some chick he fancied on the floor and ask her to dance. She would shake her head in disgust and her partner - too pissed to know who he was contending with would hurl abuse and a round house punch - which of would land nowhere -- and then would ensue a brawl. "have I told you lately" would be drowned by piercing screams of women and pissfarts - chairs would be hurled - bottles smashed on tables and flung across the hall - people would be running helter skelter - till finally the security ,consisting of Francis Braganza , Hector Al , Maurice Menezes and a gurkha from the geriatric regiment roped in for some off duty work would bring matters to a modicum of normalcy - and the MC - who would probably be your bro Leslie -would announce a spot prize dance and the band would strike up an upbeat version of White Christmas and all would be well again.
Miss those days - miss those nights.
The GAB dance was just as I'd predicted. Same ol' shit. I'm getting too old for this.
Bungloo,
When you log onto khankis there is a link called Beautysblog.....I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
DB you dirty bugger,when did you find the time to check out Beautysblog?
Osho (PBUH) might also find it very informative.
Texy thanks for the link.
Osho (pampamparaah~~) is probably a consultant for Beautysblog.
Texy is the "dirty bugger" who supplied the link.
You O Grandmaster of de Blog should have shared the info of the link with us but chose to remain silent.
CS & JKB be warned!!! This link does not give beauty tips. (There are lots of other kinds of tips though....tips and lips!
Slobsworld has been updated for those interested.
My dear khanki bretheren!
Today the three kings will officially usher out the Christmas season and there should be no humping around for while.(I hope)
I'm grateful it's over and happy to have the brief respite....hey I hope all you guys feel the same or am I the only one who's aging?
I just can't handle the pissingit up-smashed-surfacing-hangover-hairofthedog cycle anymore. I've even avoided a few parties just to "dry out".
But like I said it's just a "brief" respite...it's the mating season, so there is an orgy load of weddings, anniversaries and birthdays to attend...I'm sure it's the cold that does it! Hey all khankis in cold climes...you must be going at it like rabbits huh?
Also, to add to the fun/misery there are various picnics we HAVE TO ATTEND!
Our employers (in an effort to foster a spirit of bonhomie, togetherness and all the other balls the gurus recommend) are jumping on the bandwagon and organising various outings, innings and inbetweenings... personally I think they should just give us the cash!
And on that happy note I leave you all to rise from your acoholic stupor and respond with various choice gaalis or to agree with more choice gaalis... whatever...but the truth is de Grand master of de Blog is busy meeting deadlines and so on, so I've made this huge effort to stir up you lazy fuckers!
Here beyond down under the chicks are out in their shorts and bra tops and the guys in shorts , banyans and jandals milling around their BBQ pits tossing pieces of meat down their gullets and washing it down with shit loads of beer.
The holiday season starts on 24th night and ends around the second week of Jan. Most companies are shut and only the essential services like petrol pumps etc are on.
We haven't had much of a Christmas this year owing to Kyle's arrival - been busy changing nappies etc.
I have resumed work yesterday.
CS - read somewhere you'll be coming to Mumbai Fb/March. We are planning a trip to India during that time . It would be great to meet up. Do give me dates and a phone no so we can co ordinate.
Slobbo!
No paternity leave then huh?
I was at Anil and Caroline's wedding last night and met up with your whole khandaan...Uncle Michael, A. Julie, Andy& Fly, Ivan's fly, Danny's gang....your Pop was in fine form - playing up shits into Arnold Williams who was "in- charge" of the bar. He's quite freaked out with Mario's Polish babe. It was a good show...but nothing compared to Mittu's wedding!
Your Pop hopes you'll come for your S-i-L weddings. We hope so too.
Hey I heard Michael Mascarenbum has lost an eye! Bad scene (no pun intended).
Did I mention that When I went to Oz I hung around with Lulu and gang for a while?
It's a small world!
DB,so u met up with the khandaan !
I'm sure my dad was probably stuck to the bar !!
BTW , Mario's babe is not Polish , but Lithuanian.
Kyle is looking forward to your lesson on having a polly.
Hey people .....where is everybody ?????????????????????
Looks like only DB, Goltalab and myself are visiting this blog.
Come on khankis ...whos gonna come out with the first nostalgia piece for 2006. Lets have a laugh , lets have an argument , lets screw PF around ....lets remind him that we have not seen hide nor hair of George Jennings yet !
Some news from us .....we are planning a 3 month trip to India starting 5th Feb - 19th April.
From 19th April to 29th April we will stop over in Sydney on our way back.
While in India we will drop into Cal for about 10 days from 10th March .
So here's looking forward to meeting Dome , DB , Osho , Hatchole , Dung Dung , Lundslinger ( where the fuck has he disappeared to ? ) and maybe Banglu. Also if CS is making it to Mumbai then we can meet her too.
In Sydney hope to catch up with Mangoskins , Neil Coelho ( anyone remember him ? ) . Of course , we'll be staying with Mario.
Kyle says hello to all you guys and promises he wont piss on any of you if you carry him.
It looks like we'll have to send out personal messages to everybody. These khunts are all absconding. Mangoskins had his mum with him till last couple of days ago so you can't blame him for not wanting to open this page...never know ... snarling biting pussies might pop up on the screen.
The culprit of the above is working for a software company in Hyderabad....though they have plenty of software lying around they obviously don't have access to a computer....or maybe he went to visit Goltalab's b-i-l in Secundrabad and got converted...I'll try and locate him on www.bornagainfuckas.org.
Osho(pampamparaah~) is lying low so he can slip off to Oz without giving us all those overdue parties!
De Grandmaster of the Blog has a new job and is busy whinging to his boss about how much he loves him.
I'll update you about everyone else as soon as I have some news.
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