I get to read some real funny news now and then.
From now on I'll try and post some of this as often as possible.
The shit really did hit the ceiling in Jogeshwari, a suburb of Mumbai. In fact it hit the ceiling so hard that it blew the ceiling away!
Of the 6 women and one man having a crap at a toilet complex in a slum, the man lit a bidi; unfortunately for them, the toilet contained "excess accumulated gas". This exploded so badly that the 6 women and the man were seriously injured from all the shit flying around. The neighbouring houses too had shit raining on them.
The municipal authorities are now raising a STINK about the bad quality of building materials used in the construction of the toilets.
COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON TO ALL THE KHANKIS AND THEIR FAMILIES.
I WISH I COULD HAVE POSTED THIS YESTERDAY, JUST DID NOT HAVE THE TIME. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, THIS LAST WEEK IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL FOR TARGETS AND PUBLISHING SUPPLEMENTS.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
KYLE JUDE
Sorry - deleted those anniversary & birthday posts. But just in case some lazy Khankis haven't logged on for some time they may miss out on some stork exchange updates.
Anyway here it goes.. (also log onto SLOBSWORLD.BLOGSPOT.COM)
Milli delivered a bony baby boy Dec 19, 2005 - KYLE JUDE - Congrats Milli & SLOB
Thursday, November 03, 2005
ADDA 2
Judging from the feedback that other Khankis have been giving, I realise that I am not alone in wanting to get RLD announcements cleared up. Henceforth such temporary posts shall be displayed for a maximum of one week.
ADDA has got more than 200 comments so it is time to start a new post for loafing around. Banglu your account of Fat Boy Slim in ADDA was hilarious.Please keep it up, and what happened to your poetry? You should give us atleast one a week.
ADDA has got more than 200 comments so it is time to start a new post for loafing around. Banglu your account of Fat Boy Slim in ADDA was hilarious.Please keep it up, and what happened to your poetry? You should give us atleast one a week.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Bushisms
I just could not resist this. We ought to have a special section dedicated to morons. Please contribute any bushisms you feel are worth reading.
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" George W Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?" George W Bush, New York Times, 23rd October, 1999
"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."George W Bush, Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." George W Bush, Reuters, May 5, 2000
"They misunderestimated me." George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." George W Bush, after meeting with the leaders of the European Union, Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001
"All I was doing was appealing for an endorsement, not suggesting you endorse it." George W Bush, at a meeting of the National Governers Association, 3rd February 1992
"I don't care what the polls say. I don't. I'm doing what I think what's wrong." George W Bush, New York Times, 15th March 2000
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." George W Bush, Townsend, Tennessee, 21st February 2001
"The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership." George W Bush, White House, Oct. 28, 2003
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful - and so are we, they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people - and neither do we." George W Bush at a Pentagon meeting, August 2004
"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." —George W. Bush, on visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005
"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" —George W. Bush, at the white House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005
"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" —George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004
"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004
"As you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's — ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions — you can't — we're out of sanctions." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." - Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.
Friday, August 12, 2005
ADDA
khankis
OK, I see a situation where there are a number of posts and nobody knows which one has been updated without clicking on each one of them and then "refreshing".
SO I have hit upon this absolute genius of a brainwave - ADDA will be for chatting as we did at the clinic, and we can all refer to this post first. Whoever adds anything interesting on any of the other posts will have to add a comment on ADDA informing us. This way, we will save a lot of time.
I also notice a decline in the number of comments and non participation from some khankis, eg. Sheila feeler, Texy, Holyjoe, Osho (pbuh) and of late Banglu.
What's up with you guys? Texy, are you so busy hacking into the CIA, Mossad, and MI5 computers that you don't have time to spare a lousy comment on khankis? Just look at Passion Flower - when he's not playing golf with Dubya, he's yachting with Khashoggi, or jetsetting all over the world, yet he finds time to add his shitty comments.
Osho (pbuh) - we humbly wait for your comments. Please bless us with a word or two.
Sheila Feeler - Please come back from your sanyas and send in a joke or something.
Banglu - Get back from your sabbatical ASAP.
Holyjoe - incase you are reading this - Do try and send in a comment by Christmas.
Passion Flower, Dusty Balls, Coconut scrapers, Goltalab, and Slob deserve a word of praise. Incase you guys want to take sabbaticals, please ensure that you plan it out in such a way that only one of you goes.
Oh I forgot Hatchhole, and DungDung - What should I tell these two parachutes? Your comments.....
OK, I see a situation where there are a number of posts and nobody knows which one has been updated without clicking on each one of them and then "refreshing".
SO I have hit upon this absolute genius of a brainwave - ADDA will be for chatting as we did at the clinic, and we can all refer to this post first. Whoever adds anything interesting on any of the other posts will have to add a comment on ADDA informing us. This way, we will save a lot of time.
I also notice a decline in the number of comments and non participation from some khankis, eg. Sheila feeler, Texy, Holyjoe, Osho (pbuh) and of late Banglu.
What's up with you guys? Texy, are you so busy hacking into the CIA, Mossad, and MI5 computers that you don't have time to spare a lousy comment on khankis? Just look at Passion Flower - when he's not playing golf with Dubya, he's yachting with Khashoggi, or jetsetting all over the world, yet he finds time to add his shitty comments.
Osho (pbuh) - we humbly wait for your comments. Please bless us with a word or two.
Sheila Feeler - Please come back from your sanyas and send in a joke or something.
Banglu - Get back from your sabbatical ASAP.
Holyjoe - incase you are reading this - Do try and send in a comment by Christmas.
Passion Flower, Dusty Balls, Coconut scrapers, Goltalab, and Slob deserve a word of praise. Incase you guys want to take sabbaticals, please ensure that you plan it out in such a way that only one of you goes.
Oh I forgot Hatchhole, and DungDung - What should I tell these two parachutes? Your comments.....
Monday, July 25, 2005
Scandals / Politics / Rants etc.
khankis
Dedicated to all haters of animal-lovers
BCDAS - Hope you will allow a bit of activism on this blog. This post is for any thing you feel is worth reading about, but has nothing to do with Nostalgia or jokes. Remember, Chris Godfrey thought we only chased girls and watched blue movies, till we won Explosions. After that his opinion of us became far more positive.
I love animals since they taste so good. I hate organisations like PETA. Instead of sending out Chain Prayers etc. Please copy this article and distribute it to the rest of the world.
"ETHICAL" DEFINED: After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still in the van.
POLICE SAY THE VAN IS REGISTERED TO THE HEADQUARTERS OF PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS, AND THE TWO OCCUPANTS, ANDREW B. COOK, 24, AND ADRIA JOY HINKLE, 27, IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES AS PETA EMPLOYEES. AN AUTOPSY PERFORMED ON ONE OF THE DOGS FOUND IT WAS
HEALTHY BEFORE IT WAS KILLED. POLICE SAY PETA HAS BEEN PICKING UP THE ANIMALS -- ALIVE -- FROM NORTH CAROLINA ANIMAL SHELTERS, PROMISING TO FIND THEM GOOD HOMES. COOK AND HINKLE HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH 62 FELONY COUNTS OF ANIMAL CRUELTY. IN RESPONSE TO THE ARRESTS PETA PRESIDENT INGRID NEWKIRK SAID IT'S AGAINST THE GROUP'S POLICY FOR EMPLOYEES TO DUMP ANIMALS IN THE TRASH, BUT "THAT FOR SOME ANIMALS IN NORTH CAROLINA, THERE IS NO KINDER OPTION THAN EUTHANASIA." (Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald) ...Oops, my mistake: that's "Playing God" Defined.
THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT PETA, the less I think of them. The story of them killing animals isn't even unusual. ACCORDING TO PETA'S OWN FILINGS, IN 2004 PETA *KILLED* 86.3 PERCENT OF THE ANIMALS ENTRUSTED TO ITS CARE -- a number that's rising, not falling. Meanwhile, the SPCA in PETA's home town (Norfolk, Va.) was able to find loving homes for 73 percent of the animals put in its care. A shortage of funds? Nope: LAST YEAR PETA TOOK IN $29 MILLION IN TAX-EXEMPT DONATIONS. IT SIMPLY HAS OTHER PRIORITIES FOR THE FUNDS, LIKE FUNDING TERRORISM (YES, REALLY). BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT: I GOT MY FIGURES FROM http://www.petakillsanimals.com AND THEY HAVE COPIES OF PETA'S STATE AND FEDERAL FILINGS TO BACK IT UP. The bottom line: if you donate money to PETA because you think they care for and about animals, you need to think some more. PETA literally yells and screams about how others "kill animals" but THIS is how they operate? Pathetic.
And you know what I wonder? PETA's *official* count of animals they kill is 86.3 percent. But if they're going around picking up animals, killing them while they drive around and not even giving them a CHANCE to be adopted, and then destroying the evidence by dumping the bodies in the trash, are THOSE deaths being reported? My guess: no. While 86.3 percent is awful, the actual number is probably much, MUCH higher. HOW DARE THEY LECTURE ANYONE ABOUT THE "ETHICAL" TREATMENT OF ANIMALS!
(I was *inundated* with requests by Premium subscribers for a way to spread around the story and comments above. They're thus of course now posted at http://www.thisistrue.com/peta along with special permission and formatting for bloggers to use. Of course, as the copyright notice says, you can forward this issue in its entirety, too, by e-mail to anyone you think would find it of interest.)
Dedicated to all haters of animal-lovers
BCDAS - Hope you will allow a bit of activism on this blog. This post is for any thing you feel is worth reading about, but has nothing to do with Nostalgia or jokes. Remember, Chris Godfrey thought we only chased girls and watched blue movies, till we won Explosions. After that his opinion of us became far more positive.
I love animals since they taste so good. I hate organisations like PETA. Instead of sending out Chain Prayers etc. Please copy this article and distribute it to the rest of the world.
"ETHICAL" DEFINED: After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still in the van.
POLICE SAY THE VAN IS REGISTERED TO THE HEADQUARTERS OF PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS, AND THE TWO OCCUPANTS, ANDREW B. COOK, 24, AND ADRIA JOY HINKLE, 27, IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES AS PETA EMPLOYEES. AN AUTOPSY PERFORMED ON ONE OF THE DOGS FOUND IT WAS
HEALTHY BEFORE IT WAS KILLED. POLICE SAY PETA HAS BEEN PICKING UP THE ANIMALS -- ALIVE -- FROM NORTH CAROLINA ANIMAL SHELTERS, PROMISING TO FIND THEM GOOD HOMES. COOK AND HINKLE HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH 62 FELONY COUNTS OF ANIMAL CRUELTY. IN RESPONSE TO THE ARRESTS PETA PRESIDENT INGRID NEWKIRK SAID IT'S AGAINST THE GROUP'S POLICY FOR EMPLOYEES TO DUMP ANIMALS IN THE TRASH, BUT "THAT FOR SOME ANIMALS IN NORTH CAROLINA, THERE IS NO KINDER OPTION THAN EUTHANASIA." (Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald) ...Oops, my mistake: that's "Playing God" Defined.
THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT PETA, the less I think of them. The story of them killing animals isn't even unusual. ACCORDING TO PETA'S OWN FILINGS, IN 2004 PETA *KILLED* 86.3 PERCENT OF THE ANIMALS ENTRUSTED TO ITS CARE -- a number that's rising, not falling. Meanwhile, the SPCA in PETA's home town (Norfolk, Va.) was able to find loving homes for 73 percent of the animals put in its care. A shortage of funds? Nope: LAST YEAR PETA TOOK IN $29 MILLION IN TAX-EXEMPT DONATIONS. IT SIMPLY HAS OTHER PRIORITIES FOR THE FUNDS, LIKE FUNDING TERRORISM (YES, REALLY). BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT: I GOT MY FIGURES FROM http://www.petakillsanimals.com AND THEY HAVE COPIES OF PETA'S STATE AND FEDERAL FILINGS TO BACK IT UP. The bottom line: if you donate money to PETA because you think they care for and about animals, you need to think some more. PETA literally yells and screams about how others "kill animals" but THIS is how they operate? Pathetic.
And you know what I wonder? PETA's *official* count of animals they kill is 86.3 percent. But if they're going around picking up animals, killing them while they drive around and not even giving them a CHANCE to be adopted, and then destroying the evidence by dumping the bodies in the trash, are THOSE deaths being reported? My guess: no. While 86.3 percent is awful, the actual number is probably much, MUCH higher. HOW DARE THEY LECTURE ANYONE ABOUT THE "ETHICAL" TREATMENT OF ANIMALS!
(I was *inundated* with requests by Premium subscribers for a way to spread around the story and comments above. They're thus of course now posted at http://www.thisistrue.com/peta along with special permission and formatting for bloggers to use. Of course, as the copyright notice says, you can forward this issue in its entirety, too, by e-mail to anyone you think would find it of interest.)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Nostalgia Contd...
khankis
Since Little Billy and LB2 have grown into huge threads, it may be cumbersome for some khankis to scroll. Hence I am now starting a new Nostalgia Post.
Let me tell you how Dung Dung and I got locked up in a girls' convent in Chandernagore.
It was the annual Walking Pilgrimage to Bandel, and DD, who was the ORIGINAL cradlesnatcher had the hots for a girl in class 6 or 7 at St Joseph's convent. He comes to my house and tells my mom that we are going to pray at Bandel. Naturally my mom is very happy and encourages me to go with Brian. BTW, this girl was Jason Pote's cousin, and you know how close we were to Jason in those days ( for convenience we shall call her Karina.)
We head straight for Howrah Stn and board a train bound for Burdwan. Brian and I get off at Chandernagore and take a Cycle Rickshaw for St Joseph's. While we are going, we overtake the Calcutta crowd piously walking towards Bandel. Quite a few give us dirty looks when we smile at them from the comfort of our rick.
We finally land up at the convent, and knock on the DOOR. I had to put this in caps because the door was not an ordinary one. If you've seen any Giant gates at Mughal constructions you'll know what I mean. This door was like the fucking Buland Darwaza, and made a lot of noise when doorman tried to move it a few inches at a time. Then a nun appeared and asked us our business. DD, who in those days was a legendary bullshitter, was at his best. He said that we had come to meet Karina on instructions from a Mr Jason Pote! He said that since we were going to bandel,Mr Jason Pote had requested us to meet his cousin and take any prayer petitions from her and if possible burn a candle for her at Bandel! This nun who did not believe us one bit directed us to wait in the parlour and in the same breath asked the durwan to LOCK the gates. She then told us that she was going to ask the girl if she knew us and needed to know our names. DD without thinking identified himself as Michael D'Cruz and name me Brian. I really thought that we were going to jail that day. She then left us.
Brian and I took a look at the gate and realise that there were no escape routes in case karina claimed not to know any Michael D'Cruz. The more we waited the more tense we became. Finally DD told me not to worry. He had a plan.
He told me to hide behind the showcase and wait. He would stand at the entrance to the parlour. If there was ever a worst case scenario this was it. DD was also white with fear despite his legendary abilities and told me that in case the nun came in shouting he would draw her inside the parlour ( after checking to see if anyone else was around) and that on his signal I should come out and knock the nun out. He would then grab her keys and try and open the gate before the durwan, who had disappeared, came back. We would then run as fast as our legs would take us. I actually hid behind the showcase and brian waited for the nun who eventually appeared.
Surprisingly, she was smiling and told us that karina had said that she knew us ( that girl must have been very frustrated).
Then the girl came down and Brian chatted with her ( in front of the hawk eyed nun) and we departed. A lot of trouble for Fuck all. We then went on to bandel and got into another rick just in time to meet the same crowd that had given us dirty stares at Chandernagore.
At Bandel we then met up with Brian R and I think Texy.
Since Little Billy and LB2 have grown into huge threads, it may be cumbersome for some khankis to scroll. Hence I am now starting a new Nostalgia Post.
Let me tell you how Dung Dung and I got locked up in a girls' convent in Chandernagore.
It was the annual Walking Pilgrimage to Bandel, and DD, who was the ORIGINAL cradlesnatcher had the hots for a girl in class 6 or 7 at St Joseph's convent. He comes to my house and tells my mom that we are going to pray at Bandel. Naturally my mom is very happy and encourages me to go with Brian. BTW, this girl was Jason Pote's cousin, and you know how close we were to Jason in those days ( for convenience we shall call her Karina.)
We head straight for Howrah Stn and board a train bound for Burdwan. Brian and I get off at Chandernagore and take a Cycle Rickshaw for St Joseph's. While we are going, we overtake the Calcutta crowd piously walking towards Bandel. Quite a few give us dirty looks when we smile at them from the comfort of our rick.
We finally land up at the convent, and knock on the DOOR. I had to put this in caps because the door was not an ordinary one. If you've seen any Giant gates at Mughal constructions you'll know what I mean. This door was like the fucking Buland Darwaza, and made a lot of noise when doorman tried to move it a few inches at a time. Then a nun appeared and asked us our business. DD, who in those days was a legendary bullshitter, was at his best. He said that we had come to meet Karina on instructions from a Mr Jason Pote! He said that since we were going to bandel,Mr Jason Pote had requested us to meet his cousin and take any prayer petitions from her and if possible burn a candle for her at Bandel! This nun who did not believe us one bit directed us to wait in the parlour and in the same breath asked the durwan to LOCK the gates. She then told us that she was going to ask the girl if she knew us and needed to know our names. DD without thinking identified himself as Michael D'Cruz and name me Brian. I really thought that we were going to jail that day. She then left us.
Brian and I took a look at the gate and realise that there were no escape routes in case karina claimed not to know any Michael D'Cruz. The more we waited the more tense we became. Finally DD told me not to worry. He had a plan.
He told me to hide behind the showcase and wait. He would stand at the entrance to the parlour. If there was ever a worst case scenario this was it. DD was also white with fear despite his legendary abilities and told me that in case the nun came in shouting he would draw her inside the parlour ( after checking to see if anyone else was around) and that on his signal I should come out and knock the nun out. He would then grab her keys and try and open the gate before the durwan, who had disappeared, came back. We would then run as fast as our legs would take us. I actually hid behind the showcase and brian waited for the nun who eventually appeared.
Surprisingly, she was smiling and told us that karina had said that she knew us ( that girl must have been very frustrated).
Then the girl came down and Brian chatted with her ( in front of the hawk eyed nun) and we departed. A lot of trouble for Fuck all. We then went on to bandel and got into another rick just in time to meet the same crowd that had given us dirty stares at Chandernagore.
At Bandel we then met up with Brian R and I think Texy.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Nostalgia....
Bokachodas
This post is about Nostalgia (of course, what a prick I am stating the obvious). Please post all your nostalgic memories as comments on this post.
I saw some chut called central computer. who could it be? Jojo has accepted my invite so it probably is him. Jojo, the rule on khankis is that WE pick a name for you, unless your choice of name is Indecent enough.
Can any of you see the 2 pics I have posted earlier as Just Testing, and JT2?
This post is about Nostalgia (of course, what a prick I am stating the obvious). Please post all your nostalgic memories as comments on this post.
I saw some chut called central computer. who could it be? Jojo has accepted my invite so it probably is him. Jojo, the rule on khankis is that WE pick a name for you, unless your choice of name is Indecent enough.
Can any of you see the 2 pics I have posted earlier as Just Testing, and JT2?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
PHOR ALL KUTWA & PAHSTING JOCKS
Well well. Here we are. This is the start of a long and boring relationship between us friends, which is actually the ( long overdue) continuation of a long and boring relationship between us friends who pride in calling ourselves names like CHODURAMBAXAWALLAS, KHANKIS, BOKACHODAS etc etc.
Please fell free to write in from time to time.
Hopefully, we can relive our old days online.
PEASH AND LOVE
Dome ( that's my name on this blog)
Please fell free to write in from time to time.
Hopefully, we can relive our old days online.
PEASH AND LOVE
Dome ( that's my name on this blog)
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