Season 's Greetings

Khankis, all over the world, wherever you are, Have a Merry Christmas and a Great New Year

Hullo Again

DB and Slob deserve a big hand for trying to keep in touch. Many happy returns of the day to you Slob, for the 18th.

I'll try to post some snaps, but I still can't figure out how to label them in Blogger.

In case I can't label them these are snaps taken recently at Adelaide's Botanic Park.

Boy, have the last few months been eventful. Adelaide is not as big as Melbourne and Sydney, so jobs, especially in advertising and media are virtually non existent. In the meantime, I have had some very interesting jobs. Must tell you all about them.

My first job was in fibreglass factory working a 12 hr shift rolling thermal wool into bales, packing them in cartons and putting them onto pallets. The air was full of fibreglass dust and cigarette smoke. Sometimes I had to go to the "shot room" where a huge cast iron bucket weighing 140 kilos was kept. Whenever the fibreline was disrupted, the molten glass would be diverted into this bucket. You'll be surprised how fast this bucket would fill up. The noise is unbearable since the air explodes around the molten glass. Whenever it filled up, I had to pull this bucket out and push another bucket under the falling globules with my bare hands! No point wearing protective glasses, since they fog up in no time with the amount of steam inside the room. I would then use the forklift to take this bucket, now weighing in at 400 kilos outside and empty it. Almost got hernia in this job.

Decided it was just too dangerous a job so left it to look for another job. Guess where I got my next job - in a slaughterhouse. When being recruited, I was asked to name any job that I did NOT want in this place - I stressed that I would not like to work with intestines and shitbags. Guess which dept I was allotted - OFFAL!

For 2 weeks, my job was to turn cooked sheep stomachs inside out. When the sheep are slaughtered upstairs, their stomachs and other parts of their digestive systems are sent down a chute to our dept, where they would fall into a giant tub at the rate of 1 every 5 to 7 seconds. One person would immediately put them up on hooks in an assembly line. The next person in line would cut open the stomachs, yet another person would take the stomachs with much less shit than before and throw them into a giant cauldron which would wash them and partially cook them. Not good enough to eat, but so that any shit that remained inside was sterilised.

This machine would at regular intervals literally vomit out about 200 sheep stomachs into another tub. My job started here - I would take these stomachs and turn them inside out and pack them neatly into boxes for export to places like China, where these things are much sought after. Why would I turn them inside out? - Because the inside looks far better than the outside.

I would have to turn these awful things really fast or another 200 stomachs would be puked out by that horrible machine.

The first 2 days I did not look at the stomachs, to keep from throwing up. After the first week I could even breathe inside that room.

I learnt a few things about sheep and shit - for instance
1. In the Offal room, the shit really does hit the ceiling.
2. Sheep are grass fed or grain fed
3. Grass fed sheep shit is really nice compared to grain fed sheep shit. When you pierce the stomach, grass shit bursts out like a a very warm water balloon all over your knife hand, and has a peculiar shitty smell. Grain shit on the other hand is lighter in colour, has the consistency of hot tar. Boy, you really need to coax the stuff out even after piercing 3 times. It smells funny too.
4. I now know how shit smells when it is cooked
5. Even with the stomachs cooked, you can clearly make out what that particular sheep had for lunch.
6. Sheep are not the woolly white cuddly creatures they are made out to be in fairy tales and the movies. Their fur is literally covered in foul smelling shit

Turning those stomachs caused my fingers so much strain that they were swollen all the time. I can wear my wedding ring again, after a month of not working there.

My next job was cutting the stomachs and draining the shit out.
One day I was told to go to the slaughter floor and pull the kidneys out from the carcasses - a really tough job till you get the hang of it.

One day I had work in the larynges - where we send the sheep for slaughter. It was interesting work - actually worked with shepherds and sheepdogs. My job was to lift each sheep and push it into the specially designed conveyer before they get stunned with a stiletto type gun and then get their throats slit. These sheep are not light. They are so heavy that it is impossible to lift them or make them move if they dont want to. The only correct technique is to shove two fingers under the tail bone (and just above the arsehole) and lift. Unfortunately for me, since it was my first day, I frequently missed my target and got shat on. Please remember, that when sheep are scared to DEATH, those GOLEE CHURAN like balls dont come out. ALL that comes out is a hot wet mass that immediately starts to feel cold in the biting cold weather.

The final 2 weeks of my job I had to push the sheep carcasses in the chiller rooms - ALL 3500 of them? That was so tough that I lost 6 kilos in 2 weeks. I would frequently drop of to sleep on the drive back home. This place was at Lobethal in the Adelaide Hills region about 50 km outside Adelaide. The speed limit for most of the ride on the Princes Highway and SE Expressway, was 110kmph. I had a great time driving there.

I now have a job as a trainee bus driver for the Adelaide Metro. Before I start driving my own bus I have to get my Heavy Rigid License. The test is in an articulated bus which is 60 feet long. I'll try and post a snap of the bus I drive.Going round roundabouts is an artform in this monster.I have failed twice for careless mistakes, and will hopefully make it in my third and final attempt.

Otherwise, its back to turning sheep stomachs

The first snap is of dylan at fancy dress party where he cam as Elvis.

Enough for now.

IMPORTANT!!

Dear Khanki brothers and sisters,
I spent the whole day reading the archived khanki posts....fabulous stuff!
I propose we make every effort to attend the blog at least once a week.
If you have any reason to disagree/ agree/remain indifferent please let us know.
Thanks!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Christine
Happy birthday to you

Melbourne Trip

Some Recent Pics

Some snaps of Osho's cute little daughter

Hi Folks!

I've been very busy these last few months. More or less settled now.
First- the snaps above - 1 after Sunday mass, 2 Charmaine sitting on a bench in Hallett Cove beach, the me with Dylan at Sommerton beach, Charmaine in her kitchen, (she always wanted a proper kitchen), My "Mercedes" which I picked up for 500 dollars, Brian and me, when he came over to Adelaide, Keenan in his school uniform

If you guys just look up to one of my previous comments I was hoping that Mamata does not call for one more bandh. Well that was not to be, Just the day I was leaving India there was another bandh called. Our flight was at 10.50 pm, so the previous day as soon as we came to know about the bandh, we just packed whatever we could and left to look for a hotel near the airport.

No hotels were available, as luck would have it, there was some doctors' conference going on and all rooms were booked. So Charmaine and me and the kids and our eight pieces of luggage (we needed 3 trolleys)sat in the lobby for 24 hours. YOu guys can imagine the chaos at the airport. With kids it was very difficult for us as we had to spend a sleepless night and the the whole of the next day sitting in exactly the same spot.

Since our flight was late in the night, that meant another sleepless night,since we arrived in Singapore at 4am. Instead of shopping the whole day,we slept for almost 10 hours before some quick shopping and a trip to the airport. Must say Singapore is a great place. Our next flight was again at night again, we arrived in Adelaide at 9am. We spent 3 sleepless nights one after another. That mamata started it.

Now, we stay on rent in a nice big house with a large backyard. Keenan's schools is about 10 minutes walking distance away. I work in a factory about 15 minutes drive away.

What can I say, things are different here, the weather can be lovely cold, and sometimes terribly hot.

Aussies are nice people but some things I find odd - the ads on TV are mostly about sales at various outlets. Not much creative work. There's a broadband service named DODO, and I saw a soap called PLACENTA.

Gosh, time to go.I'll write in with more details later.

Tan-Te-Tannnnn

At last I have the time to create a new post.

That's because, I have just joined the ranks of the "unemployed" and have lots of time.

But, I'm not complaining. In fact I'm as happy as can be.

Just wanted you all to know that the Khanki population in India is going to go down once again.

The Aussie Khankies are going to have some company.

Yeah! We finally got our visas, and should be in OZ sometime in Jan, after a last Christmas in Calcutta.

I've resigned and currently Charmaine and I are relaxing, making shoppping lists and talking to potential buyers for our house. As PF says, I am trying to "liquidate my assets."

There are lots of things still to be done, but I finally have the time to chat at length with all of you on the blog.

I'm also trying a crash course in slimming down, walking up and down a hill 2 or 3 times, but the results are not at all encouraging.

Should be in Cal by mid December. I hope to meet up with all of you who are in town or, who are visiting.

Texy, will definitely be in cal when you come.

Some more snaps

Dylan having a bath


Dylan, Keenan with Charmaine


Dylan's first birthday

Dylan with Charmaine and Me at Kelve

KHANKIS is Almost One Year Old!

Well, well, well, we are going to be one year old. Special thanks to Dusty Balls for giving us umpteen reminders, and to Slob for all his crafty tricks to get us on the blog. Guys, I appreciate it.

A very happy belated birthday to Philip for the 11th, and birthday greeetings to Varun for the 16th.

I have been extremely busy, and could only post this message because I am down with stomach trouble today. Still, that's no excuse for such a long interval between posts.

I'll try not to do this again.

Would love to know, how all the khankis are.

Best Wishes

Brian R's daughter Sera celebrated her birthday on the 5th.
Brian's birthday was on the 11th. Belated birthday greetings to the 2 of you.

I have been out of circulation for some time, hence the delay. Please bear with me. Work is really hectic this season.

On the 15th was Shalini's daughter Suzanne's birthday - Belated birthday wishes to you too, Suzanne.

Yesterday was Lawrie's and Penny's birthday. Just could not get time to post these wishes. Hope the 2 of you had a blast.

Paul and Mary celebrated their wedding anniversary yesterday. Best wishes to the 2 of you.

Today is Shalini and Ivor's anniversary. Happy wedding anniversary to you!

In case I don't get time again, 25th is Paul's birthday, and Gavin celebrates his big day on the 29th. Happy Birthday to both of you in advance.

Can Lawrie take the responsibility of creating a post for them? I really am busy this month.Quite a few times I have stayed at the office till past 12 am since some pages need to go to print with our ads. 6 - 8 am we have loadshedding EVERYDAY., and again from 12.30 pm - 1.30 pm. From Feb this will increase to 5 hours daily since the Maharashtra Govt has NO POWER available. Places like Nagpur and smaller townships routinely suffer more than 10 hours daily. I am being reminded of the dark days in Calcutta many years ago.

WHy dont you people post your comments? I am noticing that since Christmas, the participation levels have gone drastically down. Where's Banglu? Slob, understandably is busy, but the rest of you have no excuse.

Can't you guys contribute siome crappy news in that post? It will be nice to hear of some funny / strange happenings wherever we are.

CRAPPY NEWS

I get to read some real funny news now and then.
From now on I'll try and post some of this as often as possible.

The shit really did hit the ceiling in Jogeshwari, a suburb of Mumbai. In fact it hit the ceiling so hard that it blew the ceiling away!
Of the 6 women and one man having a crap at a toilet complex in a slum, the man lit a bidi; unfortunately for them, the toilet contained "excess accumulated gas". This exploded so badly that the 6 women and the man were seriously injured from all the shit flying around. The neighbouring houses too had shit raining on them.
The municipal authorities are now raising a STINK about the bad quality of building materials used in the construction of the toilets.


COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON TO ALL THE KHANKIS AND THEIR FAMILIES.
I WISH I COULD HAVE POSTED THIS YESTERDAY, JUST DID NOT HAVE THE TIME. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, THIS LAST WEEK IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL FOR TARGETS AND PUBLISHING SUPPLEMENTS.

KYLE JUDE

Sorry - deleted those anniversary & birthday posts. But just in case some lazy Khankis haven't logged on for some time they may miss out on some stork exchange updates.

Anyway here it goes.. (also log onto SLOBSWORLD.BLOGSPOT.COM)

Milli delivered a bony baby boy Dec 19, 2005 - KYLE JUDE - Congrats Milli & SLOB

ADDA 2

Judging from the feedback that other Khankis have been giving, I realise that I am not alone in wanting to get RLD announcements cleared up. Henceforth such temporary posts shall be displayed for a maximum of one week.

ADDA has got more than 200 comments so it is time to start a new post for loafing around. Banglu your account of Fat Boy Slim in ADDA was hilarious.Please keep it up, and what happened to your poetry? You should give us atleast one a week.

Bushisms

I just could not resist this. We ought to have a special section dedicated to morons. Please contribute any bushisms you feel are worth reading.

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" George W Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?" George W Bush, New York Times, 23rd October, 1999

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."George W Bush, Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." George W Bush, Reuters, May 5, 2000

"They misunderestimated me." George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." George W Bush, after meeting with the leaders of the European Union, Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

"All I was doing was appealing for an endorsement, not suggesting you endorse it." George W Bush, at a meeting of the National Governers Association, 3rd February 1992

"I don't care what the polls say. I don't. I'm doing what I think what's wrong." George W Bush, New York Times, 15th March 2000

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." George W Bush, Townsend, Tennessee, 21st February 2001

"The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership." George W Bush, White House, Oct. 28, 2003

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful - and so are we, they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people - and neither do we." George W Bush at a Pentagon meeting, August 2004

"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." —George W. Bush, on visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005

"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" —George W. Bush, at the white House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005
"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" —George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

"As you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's — ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions — you can't — we're out of sanctions." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." - Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

ADDA

khankis

OK, I see a situation where there are a number of posts and nobody knows which one has been updated without clicking on each one of them and then "refreshing".
SO I have hit upon this absolute genius of a brainwave - ADDA will be for chatting as we did at the clinic, and we can all refer to this post first. Whoever adds anything interesting on any of the other posts will have to add a comment on ADDA informing us. This way, we will save a lot of time.
I also notice a decline in the number of comments and non participation from some khankis, eg. Sheila feeler, Texy, Holyjoe, Osho (pbuh) and of late Banglu.
What's up with you guys? Texy, are you so busy hacking into the CIA, Mossad, and MI5 computers that you don't have time to spare a lousy comment on khankis? Just look at Passion Flower - when he's not playing golf with Dubya, he's yachting with Khashoggi, or jetsetting all over the world, yet he finds time to add his shitty comments.
Osho (pbuh) - we humbly wait for your comments. Please bless us with a word or two.
Sheila Feeler - Please come back from your sanyas and send in a joke or something.
Banglu - Get back from your sabbatical ASAP.
Holyjoe - incase you are reading this - Do try and send in a comment by Christmas.
Passion Flower, Dusty Balls, Coconut scrapers, Goltalab, and Slob deserve a word of praise. Incase you guys want to take sabbaticals, please ensure that you plan it out in such a way that only one of you goes.
Oh I forgot Hatchhole, and DungDung - What should I tell these two parachutes? Your comments.....

Scandals / Politics / Rants etc.

khankis
Dedicated to all haters of animal-lovers

BCDAS - Hope you will allow a bit of activism on this blog. This post is for any thing you feel is worth reading about, but has nothing to do with Nostalgia or jokes. Remember, Chris Godfrey thought we only chased girls and watched blue movies, till we won Explosions. After that his opinion of us became far more positive.

I love animals since they taste so good. I hate organisations like PETA. Instead of sending out Chain Prayers etc. Please copy this article and distribute it to the rest of the world.

"ETHICAL" DEFINED: After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still in the van.

POLICE SAY THE VAN IS REGISTERED TO THE HEADQUARTERS OF PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS, AND THE TWO OCCUPANTS, ANDREW B. COOK, 24, AND ADRIA JOY HINKLE, 27, IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES AS PETA EMPLOYEES. AN AUTOPSY PERFORMED ON ONE OF THE DOGS FOUND IT WAS
HEALTHY BEFORE IT WAS KILLED. POLICE SAY PETA HAS BEEN PICKING UP THE ANIMALS -- ALIVE -- FROM NORTH CAROLINA ANIMAL SHELTERS, PROMISING TO FIND THEM GOOD HOMES. COOK AND HINKLE HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH 62 FELONY COUNTS OF ANIMAL CRUELTY. IN RESPONSE TO THE ARRESTS PETA PRESIDENT INGRID NEWKIRK SAID IT'S AGAINST THE GROUP'S POLICY FOR EMPLOYEES TO DUMP ANIMALS IN THE TRASH, BUT "THAT FOR SOME ANIMALS IN NORTH CAROLINA, THERE IS NO KINDER OPTION THAN EUTHANASIA." (Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald) ...Oops, my mistake: that's "Playing God" Defined.

THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT PETA, the less I think of them. The story of them killing animals isn't even unusual. ACCORDING TO PETA'S OWN FILINGS, IN 2004 PETA *KILLED* 86.3 PERCENT OF THE ANIMALS ENTRUSTED TO ITS CARE -- a number that's rising, not falling. Meanwhile, the SPCA in PETA's home town (Norfolk, Va.) was able to find loving homes for 73 percent of the animals put in its care. A shortage of funds? Nope: LAST YEAR PETA TOOK IN $29 MILLION IN TAX-EXEMPT DONATIONS. IT SIMPLY HAS OTHER PRIORITIES FOR THE FUNDS, LIKE FUNDING TERRORISM (YES, REALLY). BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT: I GOT MY FIGURES FROM http://www.petakillsanimals.com AND THEY HAVE COPIES OF PETA'S STATE AND FEDERAL FILINGS TO BACK IT UP. The bottom line: if you donate money to PETA because you think they care for and about animals, you need to think some more. PETA literally yells and screams about how others "kill animals" but THIS is how they operate? Pathetic.

And you know what I wonder? PETA's *official* count of animals they kill is 86.3 percent. But if they're going around picking up animals, killing them while they drive around and not even giving them a CHANCE to be adopted, and then destroying the evidence by dumping the bodies in the trash, are THOSE deaths being reported? My guess: no. While 86.3 percent is awful, the actual number is probably much, MUCH higher. HOW DARE THEY LECTURE ANYONE ABOUT THE "ETHICAL" TREATMENT OF ANIMALS!

(I was *inundated* with requests by Premium subscribers for a way to spread around the story and comments above. They're thus of course now posted at http://www.thisistrue.com/peta along with special permission and formatting for bloggers to use. Of course, as the copyright notice says, you can forward this issue in its entirety, too, by e-mail to anyone you think would find it of interest.)

Red Letter Days